Hi ho, oh no, it’s back to work I go

The dreaded day arrived and began badly. Bethan decided she required milk at 10pm, 12.20am, 2.45 and 5.25am, so sleep wasn’t particularly forthcoming. I peeled myself out of bed from beneath the clutches of a sleeping baby at around 6.30am. Shortly afterwards I realised that the office trousers I had prepared yesterday had a broken fly zip. The only replacement trousers I could find at speed in my chaotic cupboard happened to need a thorough ironing and four safety pins to stop the hem on the bottom of one leg from falling down. I felt really classy with my creased, not-worn-for-over-a-year dodgy trousers as I walked away from the house…and it felt unfamiliar to be walking alone without a buggy and extensive nappy changing supplies.

I waded through the 1063 unread e-mails in my inbox. Of the 1063, approximately 27 contained any information which was relevant to me. It took almost 3 hours to sift through all of them and delete the unwanted onesX. I wondered how Bethan was faring as I clicked delete…delete…delete…

Over lunch (I actually had a lunch break today), discussion turned to the existence of a ‘goat simulator’ app, which allows users to experience what it feels like to be a goat by ‘licking and ramming things’…and moved swiftly onto the antisocial sexual behaviour of ducks…segueing seamlessly onto a woman who creates operatic performance art pieces about snails going about their everyday business. We didn’t talk about the merits of different brands of nappies. Which was nice. I was still thinking about Bethan, though.

I resumed swearing at the photocopier (a significant part of my job) after 20 mins in the shower/ medical room in the company of a breast pump. Soon it was time to collect Catrin from pre-school. I was very pleased to see her enthusiastically waving 2 cardboard hats, an elaborately decorated paper bag and a jam tart which she had made during the course of the day.

I was extremely happy, too, to see my happy baby smiling in her sleep when we got home and to give her a huge hug. She was fine and I needn’t have worried.

Survived the dreaded first day back
Survived the dreaded first day back

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